?

You can think that you're ok and lie yourself that nothing has happened but it's not fairly to her to make such decisions. Of course only the human without some actions lives happy and without problems. We're not robots, we must have problems to solve - this is our life and at some point of view - it is a little particle of our life sense.

I can't say that my life crushes down. It just burns with different colors of flame. I can't understand myself, what I must do in my situation and about what I must not even think. I can't make her so happy as I want. Fucking words or just my soul impulses - they can't let me be myself. Or, fairly saying, I'm myself - with all my bad thoughts and feelings, loosing her everyday more and more.

Or may be I must forget all the past, become blind for present and do not think about future? Better saying - not to include her in my thoughts in present and future...?

So many questions and so little answers. I feel there is something wrong with us, but I can't understand what we can make with this. We stay alone at opposite corners. And may be it's stupid, but I feel something heavy on my soul. Like a stone. Like a big fuckin' granite stone.