Things have changed...
Yes...yes they have...
This is no longer a DJ blog...if you're looking for that, go to my new one here.
Suffice it to say that this is a more personal blog, and an outlet for the emotional noise inside my head (as the blog title would suggest). I apologize in advance that some of what you will read here may seem emo or attention-seeking...but better to let it out than keep it all bottled up.
It's been over 2 months since Andrea & I split. I think I've gotten over the worst of that. I haven't really spoken to her a lot since the last time I saw her (which was only a couple weeks ago)...just the odd thing here and there. Sometimes seeing her sets everything off again, and I keep wishing things would be different...but the logical side of my brain knows better, and I'm doing my level best to ensure that side maintains control. Well...I keep telling myself it will, anyway.
Yesterday, I deactivated my Facebook profile. I need a break from all the drama, craziness, and other things that were distracting me from real-world stuff I need to deal with. Mind you, I'm still on Twitter, Google+, and a bunch of other sites...so I don't feel completely disconnected. My phone has been rather silent since then, mind you...and rather than text people, I might just leave it until people start wondering if I'm still alive...though I have low expectations of that...no one will contact me...
To say I'm completely off of FB would be a lie. I have a ghost account that acts as a bridge between my DJ blog & the Necrobilia blog and their related FB fanpages. There will never be friends added to it, as it's not meant for social interaction. Besides...adding friends and games and crap would have completely defeated the purpose of deactivating my account in the first place.
People have said that I'm doing this for attention, that I'm planning on coming back, the whole "Hotel California" thing. I never said I wasn't coming back...though depending on how this goes, I might just stay away...and do everything through my blogs. One never knows...
And I know what I'm about to write seems silly, considering I shut myself off from the one major source of social interaction I had...but I'm really lonely. However, I felt like that even before the account was shut down. It's not a nice feeling by any stretch. My roommate just got home, and it was the first interaction I've had with someone outside of work since Saturday. yeah...not fun. But I have a feeling I'm going to be experiencing a lot more of this in the next while. And I find I'm lonely, yet when the thought or opportunity of social interaction comes up, I choose to stay home. So I'm not sure exactly WHAT'S going on there...
And I really don't know how many people out there are going to read this, but I'm here...let me know I'm not just hanging out in the Wired on my own...
This is no longer a DJ blog...if you're looking for that, go to my new one here.
Suffice it to say that this is a more personal blog, and an outlet for the emotional noise inside my head (as the blog title would suggest). I apologize in advance that some of what you will read here may seem emo or attention-seeking...but better to let it out than keep it all bottled up.
It's been over 2 months since Andrea & I split. I think I've gotten over the worst of that. I haven't really spoken to her a lot since the last time I saw her (which was only a couple weeks ago)...just the odd thing here and there. Sometimes seeing her sets everything off again, and I keep wishing things would be different...but the logical side of my brain knows better, and I'm doing my level best to ensure that side maintains control. Well...I keep telling myself it will, anyway.
Yesterday, I deactivated my Facebook profile. I need a break from all the drama, craziness, and other things that were distracting me from real-world stuff I need to deal with. Mind you, I'm still on Twitter, Google+, and a bunch of other sites...so I don't feel completely disconnected. My phone has been rather silent since then, mind you...and rather than text people, I might just leave it until people start wondering if I'm still alive...though I have low expectations of that...no one will contact me...
To say I'm completely off of FB would be a lie. I have a ghost account that acts as a bridge between my DJ blog & the Necrobilia blog and their related FB fanpages. There will never be friends added to it, as it's not meant for social interaction. Besides...adding friends and games and crap would have completely defeated the purpose of deactivating my account in the first place.
People have said that I'm doing this for attention, that I'm planning on coming back, the whole "Hotel California" thing. I never said I wasn't coming back...though depending on how this goes, I might just stay away...and do everything through my blogs. One never knows...
And I know what I'm about to write seems silly, considering I shut myself off from the one major source of social interaction I had...but I'm really lonely. However, I felt like that even before the account was shut down. It's not a nice feeling by any stretch. My roommate just got home, and it was the first interaction I've had with someone outside of work since Saturday. yeah...not fun. But I have a feeling I'm going to be experiencing a lot more of this in the next while. And I find I'm lonely, yet when the thought or opportunity of social interaction comes up, I choose to stay home. So I'm not sure exactly WHAT'S going on there...
And I really don't know how many people out there are going to read this, but I'm here...let me know I'm not just hanging out in the Wired on my own...
lonely